Living in Santa Cruz, California in my mid-20s, my friend Jean and I would often zip up to Lake Tahoe to go snowboarding at Kirkwood Resort.
On one of those trips, the powder was waist-deep and spectacular, and we were riding through the trees. Both of us were smart enough to stay away from the trees themselves, not because we were afraid to hit them, but rather that we'd wind up in a tree well - a hidden void of loose snow below that's hard to climb out of. If you go in headfirst, it can be bad, especially with a 5-foot board strapped to your feet.
Good as we are, we both lost it and fell into different tree wells almost at the same time. We were fine, but definitely stuck, and laughing so hard we could barely breathe.
Those tree wells were like climbing a mountain of powdered sugar, and it took us 30 minutes to struggle our way out. Once we did, we laid flat on our boards, paddling them like surfboards out of the trees to the hard pack.
Jean and I were bartenders and general wild-asses in mid 90's Santa Cruz, and this is one of my favorite memories with her. Look at how young and skinny we were - it was probably the tree well workouts. I hope she's reading this. (😘 Jeanie)
What does that have to do with anything?
"What you aim at, you hit," is one of my favorite maxims for snowboarding and life. Skiing the trees on a powder day is a skill, and a good instructor will tell you, "don't look at the trees, look for the line between them." Thinking "don't hit that tree" almost guarantees you will. People learn this the hard way all the time.
So here we are at the end of 2025, and perhaps it's a good time to consider our aim. Where has our focus been and what's been the outcome?
I heard someone say once that your life is perfectly designed to produce the outcomes it's producing. In other words, what have you been aiming at all year - even unintentionally? How many trees have you hit, and are you drowning in their wells?
If I'm being honest, I keep hitting the same tree.
Watching people do unheard-of or patently illegal things again and again, seemingly without consequence, has been my biggest tree well of 2025. I've been headfirst in it and it's taken me all year to get out. I'm just now lying on my snowboard, sweating.
But I don't want to waste any more time doing that. So I'm paddling for the hard pack, even if the run below is unfamiliar, or full of ice and moguls.
Maybe you need to do the same.
Maybe it's time to accept there are big, dangerous trees on this run and you need to find your line through them, rather than complaining that the run is too hard to ski. Here are some questions to help you do that.
- Where am I complicit in my own suffering?
- Who else is suffering around me? How can I help them today?
- What trees do I keep hitting?
- What lines might there be around them?
- What 100 things am I overlooking, for which I could be incredibly thankful?
Your Systems Drive Your Results
Choosing to focus on the line between the trees is a system. It allows you to accept the danger of the trees while slipping silently through them like a rascally prankster. Here are a few other examples.
- Refusing to doomscroll and going for a walk with your neighbor instead, is a system.
- Doing pushups and squats every day is a system.
- Deciding what you want in 2026 and breaking it down to its smallest actionable parts, is a system.
- Being generous and thankful is a system.
Likewise...
- Leaving the "news" on in the background all day is a system.
- Blame, complaint and entitlement are systems.
- The way you treat others is a system.
- Drinking/working/eating/shopping in excess is a system.
All of these systems produce tangible results, but sometimes it's hard to see the systems powering outcomes we dislike. It's hard to accept that some of our results are self-inflicted, preferring instead to blame someone or something else.
This is what coaching is for. We ask what you want and then evaluate which of your systems support that, and which ones hinder it.
Of course, sometimes you're stuck navigating an unjust, broken system, so your bewilderment makes sense. Other times, it's your own mind and mouth throwing sand in the gears. Sometimes it's both.
The question is, do you like the results you got in 2025?
If not, what needs to change? Don't waste your time trying to whack the big trees, that time will come. For now, can you find the line through them? Can you help others find their line too?
Happiest of Holidays.
xo
ps. Mark the spring equinox on your calendar March 20-23. That's our tentative date for our brand new all-women's travel adventure in Northern New Mexico. It's still in development, but if you want to hear details as they emerge, hop on this interest list. If you already have, thanks.
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