Yesterday, Sam and I went to Albuquerque with a long list, which is only remarkable in context: We moved to a cattle ranch in the center of New Mexico eleven days ago, and the ranch is so big we measure it in miles - 14 by 10ish.
The quiet is so absolute here, you only really get it by standing under the occasional power line or near a salt cedar listening to them whistle and moan their resistance, and thinking "what is that noise?" The planes overhead are so high you can see but rarely hear them.
So going to Albuquerque, a city of about a half million, feels like A LOT.
(Side note: If you're not watching Pluribus on Appletv, you should be. It's thought-provoking and weird, but also set in Albuquerque. Sprouts is in it.)
On Frenzy
For me, this December has been a study in stillness and solitude. As I said in last week's Firestarter, I'm tired of feeling disappointed every January, like I missed all the goodness of Advent, the holidays and Solstice, because I was rushing to accomplish them, rather than slowing down to inhabit them. This year I decided I would do it differently, and surely living in a place I can see 30 miles in every direction helps.
But sometimes you still need to go to Costco, and thrift stores, and to see a friend who has an extra fake Christmas tree he wants to get rid of. Plus, there's young-chef energy in Albuquerque shaking it up, while the old-school holds it down, so the food scene is delicious and interesting.
So that all happened in one day, and when we got back to the ranch I told Sam I was never leaving again.
The contrast between what I have now and what I would have considered normal every other year was stark. Costco was predictably wild but when I said that to the woman at checkout she said with zero hesitation, "oh no, this isn't busy at all."
Holy smokes.
John Mark Comer has a lot to say about our normalization of busy, in his book in The Ruthless Elimination of Hurry.
"Corrie Ten Boom once said that if the devil can't make you sin, he'll make you busy. There's truth in that. Both sin and busyness have the exact same effect - they cut off your connection to God, to other people, and even to your own soul."
Which is probably why I wanted to get back to the ranch so badly. I recognized an only recently-disrupted pattern of hurry into which I could easy l slip back.
Even Sam on the way home was "fighting traffic," as though that's battle any of us will win. To quote Comer again:
"Love, joy and peace are at the heart of all Jesus is trying to grow in the soil of your life. And all three are incompatible with hurry."
Oof. That one lands.
Here are 3 Tips to Help.
- As I mentioned last week, I'm focusing on stillness this Advent. Hallow has a great series and, in fact, some of the daily practices center Comer's book. Chris Pratt (yes, The Avenger) voices them, and he's lovely. The meditations are around 10 minutes a day, and there's an interesting array of folks saying interesting things about the themes of Advent - hope, joy, peace and love. They're kind of nailing it.
- Maybe you can't move to a cattle ranch in the middle of New Mexico, but I bet you can get outside more when it's light, and sleep more when it's dark. Comer mentions in the book, that before Edison invented the lightbulb, humans got 11 hours of sleep a night in winter. Pause and calmly consider that.
Research shows that getting outside as early after rising as possible - especially if there's sun to be had - helps entrain your circadian clock, your biological rhythm that regulates sleep, mood, energy and hormone release. Also, sunlight stimulates serotonin production, which helps mood regulation. So getting out in the sun - before phone or other nonsense - is enlivening. And sure, if you live in Seattle like I did for 18 years, winter sunlight can be scarce but there are ways around that too. - Design your days with balance in mind. Perhaps after a walk outside, build in ten minutes of stillness and contemplation. I'm always amazed what comes up in those times, things I hadn't thought of at all before I sat down. Deeper, more interesting things.
Then time block the Costco runs, the thrifting, the holiday parties. Control them. (Here's a link to our paper planner - it helps). Holiday chaos is fun, but can you balance the frenzy of it with stillness and present moment awareness, which is one portal to joy?
Jen Hatmaker wrote a great post yesterday to all the single-moms who are making the magic alone this year. That's exhausting. She reminds them, and us, it's legal to substract things that may hold strong traditional value, but diminishing ROI.
Subtraction is a great way to protect your peace and make space for higher-value things like quiet-time with your most-important people.
Loving the New Mexico Vibe?
Me too. That's why we're planning a brand new, all-women, group travel adventure to New Mexico in the spring. It's a different kind of gathering for us, one that retains the DNA of the 14 women's retreats we've already done, while doing something new.
We're thinking of a four-day weekend likely in Santa Fe, in March, when the sage is in bloom, temps are warming and the nearby hotsprings are steaming.
We'll have unhurried conversations about what's now and what's next; with gentle structure from me and plenty of room to breathe, hike and explore.
If this sounds interesting, put your name on this list (many of you already have - hoorah!) and we'll keep you posted as it develops.
Yes. Put me on the interest list.
That's it for me this week my friend. Remember, peace is always an inside job and if there isn't enough of it around you, maybe it's up to you to make it.
Happy Holidays.
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