I have a client in the Twin Cities - a mother of two little brown boys. She put copies of their passports in their backpacks, and goes to meetings at their school to hear the plan should heavily-armed, masked men enter.Â
Ahh, the things we get to plan for. In America. In 2026.Â
My client draws from a deep well of regulation and calm, so she's doing a good job explaining things to her kids, with...
Tell me if this feels familiar.
The group text bings and someone suggests lunch. One person hearts the message. Two say “Yaaaaaassss! Soon.” One says “this week is wild, next week maybe?”
Then nothing happens.
A few days later someone sends a meme. Then a birthday gif. Then a “thinking of you ❤️.”
No one is mad or avoiding anyone. No one is being dishonest.
But no one is showing up either.
And ...
I was feeling pretty cranky on Friday, and I mentioned it to a friend who is a therapist and a fellow IFS practioner.Â
In Internal Family Systems we talk a lot about "Self Energy" which is the belief that all humans are imbued with a calm, clear, compassionate center — a wise knowing that, like the sun, cannot be extinguished.Â
The sun can however be obscured by clouds, and things felt pretty d...

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