It's a tricky thing to find yourself feeling blue in the summer. The peaches are ripe, days at the lake are long, and hammocks wait ready in the shade; how could anyone be so selfish to be sad when it's all this good?
And yet ... it happens.
No need to examine the 1000 reasons you might be feeling down today. Instead, here's help if you are.
Yesterday. Eagle Nest Lake, New Mexico
Four Moves:
- Go deep with gratitude. Writing gratitude lists as a habit will quietly and happily endure all the recent eye-rolling it hasn't earned β from now until foreverβ because, put bluntly, the practice is unmatched. Listening to a podcast about gratitude doesn't rewire your musty, funk-filled brain. Making your brain work by listing 1000 blessings does. As ever, what you think about expands, so blow your own mind with how amazing your life already is. I mean it. Stop reading and give thanks for at least 10 things. I'll go first.
π¦ My legs work. Sunflowers are in bloom. The pollenators love it. It rained. My Mac is the world's best mobile business partner. I'm getting fitter by the day. I slept well. The forest is healthy. The air is clear. I am loved. π¦ - Move your body. I've spent the last few years dreaming of becoming a high-altitude, trail-runner in my 50's. Back in April, for reasons yet unclear, I just started running, like Forrest. Here's the app I used to help. Last weekend, I ran my first 10k distance (6.2 miles) through a thick Ponderosa forest, wet with monsoon rain, at 6,800 feet in the mountains of Jemez, New Mexico. I am, offically, a runner now. It's an identity I've been building for months and I'm super proud of it. Next to my stronger perimenopausal hip tendons, the most surprising benefit is happier mental health. I can leave for a run with black smoke billowing from my ears and return several miles later with a sweaty body and zenned-out brain. It's wild. Five stars.
π¦ I'm not sure it matters what your movement of choice is, only that you do it hard enough to sweat a little, everyday. Like gratitude, this advice is hardly groundbreaking. π¦ - Own it and talk it out. What a terrible temptation it is to blame everybody in the world for your funk. No matter how complicit the folks in your life are, it's still yours to wrangle. A good question to ask, after deciding to sit a minute with your feelings, is: what is this emotion trying to tell me? Often, the data fueling your passion is valid and actionable. Can you have compassion for yourself in the wilds?
π¦ Only after a thorough litigation of your feelings and behavior though should you approach the trouble-makers in your life. Perhaps with an opening like, "I want to do better talking about X. I feel X. I need X." Done with kindness and persistence, it's smog-clearing. π¦ - Give to others or yourself. Assuming you're not inflamed with the resentment over-giving brings β a sadly familiar position for midlife women β can you double the banana bread recipe and take the second loaf to a neighbor? Can you set out the slip-n-slide for the kids and make blackberry Mojitos for the spectators? No? Okay then, can you download some excellent fiction (like Ann Patchett's new one, Whistler, or Chibundu Onuzo's Sankofa) and climb into the hammock for an off-duty hour or two, letting someone else find the mayonnaise? Sometimes serving others with a thoughtful gesture makes good sense, sometimes pointing the thoughtful gesture at yourself does. Do whichever, Queen. Both feel great.
π¦ Reading and napping in the shade with good fiction feels delicious, of course, but if non-fiction is your jam, consider Fr. Joash Thomas', The Justice of Jesus or The Artist's Journey by Steven Pressfield β required reading for artists and creators. π¦
I hope this helps you find some ease, maybe even some delight today. I'm off to hunt up blue butterflies.
ps. I'm taking on a few new 1:1 clients to round out the summer calendar. If you need some assistance getting from point a to b, or have no idea where point b is, let's talk about it.
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