One of the most important things you can do in life is become a person who does what they say they will.
Beyonce famously put it like this:
"Don't talk about what you're gonna do. Don't just dream about what you're gonna do. Don't criticize somebody else for what they're not doing. You, be it. Be about it. Be about that action and go do it."
Bey and I are not talking about optimizing your personal self, performing for praise or other outside validation – though all that's inevitably in the mix — what we're saying is: Can you trust yourself and your own damn word?
Why it's hard.
Many of us confuse wishes with plans. No problem, that's a strategy issue. Some have excuses stacked like cordwood that need to to be burnt to ash. Most of us live by our feelings more than our decisions, which is a habit you can break, if you want to.
Case in point: As I've mentioned 100 times in this letter lately (because I'm obsessed and I can't think of anything else) I started running this year.
After years of thinking about running, talking about running, and envying people who run by my house in chatty little groups, something finally clicked.
One tiny sentence smashed my procrastination and excuses. It was a marketing hook in a running app. I read it. Bought the app. Put on my shoes, and became a runner. Wanna hear the hook?
The human body was designed to run.
That's it. Humans, including me at age 54, are made to run. Period.
I abandoned all the stories I'd heard about perimenopause and how running will hurt my knees, and just believed the app when it said it could teach me to run and keep running.
That was four months ago. This morning I ran 3.75 miles before breakfast — a once-inconceivable feat. I even have a personal security detail so I can run in remote places without fear.
Would you mess with this dog?
Maybe you're ready to get about it too.
What do you even want?
What's the story you tell yourself about why you can't have it?
Those are important questions for women in midlife because our roles shift so dramatically, we easily get lost. Also, women in general are so unpracticed at acknowledging their own desires, they feel selfish when they do so.
But remember this:
There is a difference between making the world revolve around you
and becoming responsible for your own life.
Taking responsibility for your own life is what makes you put your running shoes on when it's raining, and the pride, self-trust and capablity that grow when you don't quit, are jewels in your crown.
So what is the thing you keep saying you will do, but haven't done yet?
Want to get about it?
ps. I'm taking on a few individual clients before Fall. If you're looking for a guide through this territory, book a free call and we'll talk about it.
Responses